Nightmare Rules
by Tashah2109
Summary: Sharon's missing. It's up to the team to find her and try to hold Rusty together. Not easy when people stop playing by the rules. Multi-Chapter. Hints of Sharon/Andy. Angst.
1. Chapter 1

I have always written angst before, I got distracted recently by fluff. However this is where I feel most comfortable. I would really appreciate feedback. This will be multi-chapters but I'm not 100% sure where we are going at the minute. Thanks for reading.

 **Nightmare Rules**

Rusty rubbed his eyes as he walked from his bedroom into the kitchen. Looking around he couldn't see any evidence that Sharon has been into the room yet that morning. It was unlike her to sleep in, and he was sure she hadn't been due into work that morning. However he had come to realise that nothing was predictable when it came to major crimes. Yet is was odd that she hadn't left him a note, or sent him a message to let him know where she was. Pushing the thought to the back of his mind he set about making some breakfast.

"Lieutenant Provenza where is the Captain?" Will walked into the murder room and straight over to the older man. He too was meant to have had a day off yet here he was, and if he was here then it sure as hell meant that the rest of his team had to be as well.

Provenza raised his eyebrows while making sure that his gaze remained down. "I don't know Chief, but she certainly isn't here with the rest of her team."

"Had anyone called her?" Will was agitated and not even trying to cover it.

"I've just left her another voicemail. I'm sure wherever the Captain is she has a good reason for not being her. It's not like her to not show up without letting anyone know." Andy couldn't stop himself from reacting to the obvious annoyance that the Chief was showing. Sharon Raydor didn't take time off. It was hard enough to get her to leave when was seriously ill.

"Right, well while she is MIA then Provenza and Flynn organise your team as you wish. Keep me informed on any developments in the case, and for heaven's sake let me know when the Captain decides to put in an appearance." He didn't wait for a reply before turning and walking straight out of the room and back towards his office.

Andy walked over to where Provenza stood. "Do you think we should call the kid? Even you have to admit that it's unlike her. She wouldn't just not show up!"

"I am well aware of that Andy! Why don't you leave her another message and then help me organise this case. Don't drag the kid into this yet." He picked up the case files from his desk and left Andy sitting there.

Andy sighed and pulled out his phone. He had a gut feeling that something was horribly wrong, but he did as he was asked and dialled to leave her another message.

" _This is Captain Sharon Raydor of the LAPD Major Crimes department. Please leave your name, number and a message."_

"Captain its Flynn, we've had an urgent call out. The chief is on the war path and we're all starting to worry about you. Where are you?"

"Sharon its Will. Your team have been waiting for you for nearly an hour. Call me."

"Sharon it's Rusty… it's 2pm and I'm… I'm worried Sharon."

Rusty hit the end call button. It would be fine, he would walk into the murder room and she would be stood there. There would be a simple explanation he was sure. They had been called out on an emergency and her phone had run out of battery. Pushing open the door to the murder room Rusty held his breath without realising. As he walked through the door he felt the whole room fall silent before they turned to face him one by one. He scanned the faces expectantly only to quickly realise that she wasn't there. He froze to the spot, he had convinced himself that it was nothing, she would be there ready to explain where she had been.

Andy was the first one to realise that the kid was searching the room. He covered the space in the room before putting his hands on Rusty's shoulders. The eyes that looked back at him didn't belong to the kid that they had watched turn into an adult in front of their eyes. Instead he found himself looking straight at the scared kid he had first met all of those years ago. In his heart he knew that there was no need to ask the question. "Sharon isn't here Rusty, do you know where she is?"

Rusty wanted to turn and run. This couldn't be happening again. She had promised him. She promised that she wasn't going to leave him. "Where is she Andy? She wouldn't leave without saying goodbye…"

"No you're right Rusty, she wouldn't." He put an arm around the kids shoulder and guided him towards the empty desk. "Rusty you need to listen to me." He sat him on the chair and sat himself on the side of the desk. "None of us have heard from Sharon since yesterday and we both know that's not like her. I need your help to try and work out everything she did yesterday after she left."

Rusty looked at the man that he knew that Sharon had been casually dating for the past six months. He wasn't sure why but there was something he trusted in the older man. He was right, Sharon wouldn't just leave him. However once he pushed that thought to the back of his mind, the alternatives were even worse. "We need to find her Andy…"

Andy nodded at him. "Wherever she is Rusty we will find her. That I promise."

 _She wasn't sure where it was the chill of her surrounding that had woken her, or the pounding it her head. Trying to force her eyes open she could feel the stickiness of what she expected was blood covering her forehead, and the matted hair pulling at her scalp as she tried to move. With her eyes open she moved to wipe the hair from her eyes._

 _It was in that moment that she really started to panic. With the sudden realisation that both of her hands were bound behind her back. Trying to separate them she felt the angry bite of the narrow rope against her skin. Taking a deep breath she tried to move her legs, quickly realising that they too were bound together with rope._

 _It took everything in her being not to scream out in that moment. Her mouth wasn't bound or gagged and she knew very quickly that there would be a reason. She waited for a moment before starting to try and piece together everything that had led to this point._

 _ **Sharon couldn't sleep. She had laid in bed for nearly 3 hours contemplating the events of the day. In fact the previous week that she had been through. She had always been a listener, and to some extent a healer. It was she that would sit for hours with coffee listening to the problems of the world, and she would do all she could to try and fix them. When it came to her own problems there were people around her who would always take the time to listen. She just didn't always know how to share.**_

 _ **She wrapped a short summer robe around herself and picked up her glasses from the table next to her bed. She placed them onto her face before walking out of her room. Not wanting to wake Rusty she didn't turn on the light. Gently manoeuvring herself around the furniture.**_

 _ **She didn't feel the movement behind her until the crashing blow came against the side of her head. She could feel herself slipping out of consciousness, as a voice that she couldn't place whispered in her ear.**_

" _ **It's time to play by my rules Captain."**_

 _She was a police Captain. How had she not realised that there was someone in her house. She had promised to protect Rusty yet she couldn't even protect her own house. "Oh God… Rusty." It was the first she had spoken and it was a mix between words and a sob._

 _Lifting her head as far as she could from the floor she couldn't see signs of anyone else being held in the room. She felt a pang of relief. As she continued to look around the room she tried to take in her surroundings. There were a few windows with boards covering them. A single pane on one of them had been left uncovered meaning that there was an element of light coming in._

 _She looked to be in an abandoned home of some sort. There were pieces of broken furniture scattered around. Along with patches of carpet across the floor, as she had expected there didn't appear to be any personal items around the room. There weren't photos of any sort, or anything that might have given her any clue about where she was. As she felt the strain start in her neck she relaxed it back to the floor. The damp odour surrounding her permeating through her nose and making the sick feeling rise in her stomach._

 _The floorboards behind her head starting to move. Followed by the sound of footsteps coming up behind her she tried to hold her breath hoping that they would leave._

" _There's no point pretending Sharon. I know you're awake."_

 _In a sudden moment before she could even and try to turn her head there was a palm pushing her head into the floor. The jolt of her head against the floor started the pounding movement again._

" _My rules Captain… Remember that." The voice snarled behind her ear._

 _Sharon kept her lips firmly shut. Her police training was kicking in, and she refused to give anything away in this first encounter. She needing more time to assess the situation and formulate a plan. She had faith that her team would work out what was happening, and they would find her. Her thoughts were stolen from her as she felt the scratch of a needle enter her arm. She failed to stop the single tear roll down her cheek._

" _I'll leave you with this Captain. Know me only as the invisible man. No one knows where you are, they aren't coming for you…"_


	2. Chapter 2

**Feeling a little overwhelmed at the reaction to the first chapter! Thank you to everyone would reviewed, favourited and followed. I hope that the next chapter lives up to expectations. Thanks for reading.**

 **Chapter 2**

Rusty sat watching the activity all around him in the murder room. It had been eight hours since he had turned up and all but confirmed to the department that Sharon was missing. He knew all the protocols. That an adult couldn't be confirmed missing for seventy-two hours. Thankfully the rules were there to be bent when the concerned adult was a police Captain.

There had been a team pulling the condo to pieces for the past three hours looking for any clues as to what may have happened. The search appeared to have been fruitless, that was until Sykes stumbled across the smallest piece of hair on the kitchen floor.

So here he sat waiting for what seemed as though it had been hours for the results to come through. The hair was the only clue that they had. The condo itself looked perfect, no one would ever have known something had happened there. It was only that Rusty had recanted the events of that day over and over that they could be sure Sharon must have been taken from the condo and that he had been the last person to see her.

"It shouldn't be too long now kid." Andy walked over to where he could see Rusty falling deep into his thoughts. "You've done well today. Sharon would be…" He stopped half way through. Finishing the sentence would make it seem as though she wasn't coming back.

"Sharon said once… That if I went missing she would fine me." Rusty looked up towards Andy. He didn't trust men, it was a rule he had put in place through his life, and he had always followed it through. Yet as he looked around the room he realised that every man sat there was an exception. He looked up towards Andy. "Please fine her Andy. Find my Mum." Rusty felt the tears starting to form in his eyes as the words left his mouth, letting them see him cry was a step too far and Rusty pushed himself up from the chair before heading to the break room.

Andy watched Rusty leave the room. "I'll find her kid…" He spoke the words knowing that they weren't needed. He watched Sykes come through the door as Rusty left. She was holding all the information that had been requested on threats against Sharon from the past two years.

As she started to hand them over three computers around the room went off simultaneously with notification that the DNA results had been returned.

"Dear GOD!" Provenza was the first one to react to the readings on his computer. Andy walked over to stand behind him in order to interpret the results. He ran a hand through his hair as he saw the name in front of him.

"How can that be?" Andy rested his elbows against the desk and his head in his hands. "He's meant to be in jail."

"I've spoken with the Los Angeles prison that was holding him, until last week when he was released on compassionate grounds due to his mother being terminally ill." Tao was the next to speak.

"Are you KIDDING me?" Provenza bought hit fist down against the desk as he spoke. "He threatened the life of multiple officers and shot at three of us before we took him down?"

"What did he do?" Rusty's voice was quiet as he spoke. None of them had seen him re-enter them room.

Andy looked around the room, he could see everyone looking towards the kid. They had all seen him grow so much across the past years, and they all knew how much this was hurting him. He made the decision then and there that they owed it to him to tell him everything they knew. "His name is Edward Blunt, and he was serving twenty five years for…" Andy paused. "For kidnap, rape and murder of three women. Sharon tracked him down and arrested him, but not before he threatened her."

Rusty nodded. "You think he's taken her?"

"Yes. We think so." Andy looked at him. "It's a start Rusty, we know who has her and that's a start." Andy rested a hand on his shoulder. "Why don't you come and stay at my apartment until we get her back? It's a little smaller than Provenza's, but I have cable."

"I guess." Rusty tried to sound positive about it, yet in the past ten hours he felt as though his life was falling apart. He had finally learnt what it meant to love someone, and to know what it felt like to be loved and it was already being ripped away from him.

 _She was woken from the drugged stupor by the scream torn from her throat. Her eyes flew open by the sound of her own torment. Staring up at the grey ceiling she came quickly to the realisation that the nightmare was real. She had been taken from her condo, her limbs were bound and her head pounding. No doubt from a mixture of the drugs and the head injury that she knew she sported._

 _She didn't know how long she had until he came back. She couldn't work out how long she had been conscious before he had injected her the last time with the drug. She needed to make the most of this time she had. To try and work out what was happening._

 _She went through the names in her head of those that had made threats against her life. Those that may have been released and it led her to a handful of names. Something to work with, so she felt as though she was doing something worthwhile as she lay there._

 _As her mind ran through the possibilities Sharon started to work out how many hours she had been there. There was less light coming in through the windows now. The night was drawing closer. She knew that by now her team would have realised she was gone, and she hoped with all her being that Rusty was with them. She felt a tear form in the corner of her eye as she thought about the boy that had become her son. It was all that she could hope that he knew she hadn't left him by choice. That she wouldn't. She let the tears roll as she thought at him feeling alone. She had spent so long working with him and loving him through all of the pain._

 _She felt relieved of the conversation her and Andy had shared several months ago, she knew that Rusty would be staying with him while they got this sorted. She had to hold onto it. The hope that they were going to find her._

 _It was then she heard the familiar creak of the floorboards behind her. This was her chance. "I do believe we have met before." She stayed her voice and was clear with the words. She wanted him to be sure that she had worked out who he was. A figure moved into her vision. He was blurry without her glasses, but even then she could see that he wore a mask._

 _"Yes indeed we have Captain, and what is my name?"_

 _Sharon stopped. What did she do? She had narrowed it down to a list of three names. She could play one of her cards now. Hope that she had guessed correctly, or indeed risk that she had not and face the consequences. No, she needed more time, he would give something away. She was sure of it._

 _"Not so sure now Captain." The response was followed by a sharp kick to her abdomen. "Don't play the game unless you follow the rules and rule number one. Don't break the rules."_

 _Sharon felt the familiar scratch of the needle before the world around her closed back in._


	3. Chapter 3

**Wow! Thank you to everyone who has reviewed and followed! I am really enjoying writing this, and it makes it all worthwhile to think people are reading and enjoying it. There is a slightly different focus with this chapter but please bear with me as it all unfolds. Thanks again.**

 **Chapter 3**

Rusty lay on the sofa. He glanced at his phone, it was 3:15am and he still couldn't sleep. Andy had offered to clear all the junk out of his spare room, but Rusty had insisted on sleeping on the sofa. Determined to finally get some sleep he closed his eyes, but all he could see was Sharon's face. She started off close but then started moving away. Further and further away he could feel himself scream as he reached out for her. His eyes flew open as he covered his mouth with both hands.

He knew that it was too late when he heard the footsteps coming up behind him and the side light turned on behind where he lay.

"You can't sleep either kid?" Andy had too been lying in bed tossing and turning unable to switch off his mind. They had only been back at his place for a couple of hours, and Andy was surprised that they had ended up leaving the office at all.

Rusty pulled himself upright and moved to the side of the sofa. "No. Sorry I didn't mean to scream, I haven't had a nightmare in…" Rusty cast his mind back to the last time he had woken up screaming. It was when he was staying at Provenza's during the Wade Weller situation and the time before that when he was still with his biological mother.

It was then that Rusty realised he had never had a nightmare while staying in the same house as Sharon. It was as though she was his comfort blanket, and he wasn't sure how long he could go without starting to break.

"Rusty it's ok. You don't have to pretend around me." Andy had grown to know him over the past few years and was constantly impressed by the maturity he showed. Yet he also knew how much it must have been taking for his to keep it all together.

"I can't even start to think about it… It seems like an awful dream." Rusty pulled his knees up towards his chin and looked as Andy sat on the sofa next to him. "Every moment I just expect her to walk back through the door."

Andy knew exactly what he meant. He had spent the whole day watching every door, expecting Sharon to walk back in. Tell them all that they had been wasting their time, that she had simply taken the day off for herself. "We'll find her Rusty. No matter what it takes."

"But what if you don't… This guys is obviously serious…" Rusty paused. He didn't want to face it, he didn't want to think about it but he had come to understand the world that they worked in. He knew that there were some really bad people out there, and one of them had taken his Mum.

"Rusty. Even the worst criminals make mistakes. We worked out his name in less than a day, we have filled in nearly all of his background information." Andy knew that half of the team would still be working through the information.

Rusty nodded. "There's just so much I want to tell her." He paused. He had opened up to Sharon more than he would ever have imagined. Yet still it seems like there was so much he hadn't said. "So much I should have told her already." He had spent so much of the past day thinking through exactly what he would say to her.

Andy nodded. He too had been thinking about everything he should have said. "I know, but you'll get a chance when we find her Rusty."

"What about you? I mean, I know you two have been dating… It seems pretty serious." Rusty had watched the two of them getting closer to each other but he was ok with it. She had seemed happy. As he thought about her in the past tense he felt the lump rising in his throat

Andy looked at the kid and without thinking he placed a hand on his shoulder. "I appreciate that. You're Mu… Sharon means a lot to me, but it means more that you're ok with whatever this is between us." Andy knew how much what he thought meant to Sharon, and while this wasn't the time to think about it having is blessing made everything seem worthwhile.

"Andy it's ok. She's my Mum… You can call her that…" Andy finally let the tears he had been holding fall down his cheeks. He let the tears fall as Andy rubbed his shoulder, both of them knowing that they wouldn't be able to sleep until they found her.

 _Across the dark behind her eyes she could see the flashing images of everyone she cared about. They were all she could hold onto as her mind was filled with the darkness. They were everything she was fighting for, the chance to see them again. To tell them how much she loved them._

 _She recounted the last conversations she had with them. From listening to Emily venting about her snobby understudy. Ricky getting excited about the latest generation hard drive that they were letting him work with. Rusty reminding her that she had promised they could have burgers, and that is was his turn to choose the movie because he couldn't face another black and white classic._

 _Then her mind moved to Andy, whether or not she admitted it to the outside world she cared about him. Thinking back to the last conversation they'd had she could feel herself internally smile. It was nothing much, a laugh and a smile as they recanted the previous night's date. Followed by a quick peck on the cheek as he had wished her goodnight before leaving the offices, it had taken her some time to realise that those were the moments that mattered._

 _Forcing herself to leave her thoughts and opened her eyes Sharon forced herself to stretch out. The stiffness in her climbs cried out in protest. As she moved she was horrified to feel the wetness spread across her trousers. With a gasp she realised what must have happened while she was unconscious, to make it worse the acrid smell soon reached her nose. Turning her head all she could towards the floor she let out a small sob._

" _Dear me what a mess we've made." The voice make her snap her head around quicker than she could and she ground her teeth together to stop the grunt of pain from leaving her lips._

" _What. Do. You. Want." She purposefully punctuate every word. She was only going to ask once and wanted an answer._

" _Oh you know what I want Captain. You just need to dig a little deeper. Open yourself up to playing the little game we've started."_

 _She could feel the air move as he knelt behind her. The movement caused the muscles in her stomach to clench. Giving her an uncomfortable remind of the kicks to her abdomen from his last visit._

" _I don't play games." She knew that she was walking a thin line, but she was tired and in pain. She knew that there was no way she was going to escape, her only hope was her team._

" _Where's the fun in that Sharon?"_

 _The words were followed by the cold brush of metal against her face. She felt the barrel of his gun resting against her pulse point. She bit her tongue to stop the cry leaving her lips, she wasn't going to let him do this._

" _You'll give in eventually, but don't worry we've got plenty of time left together."_

 _She felt the rush of air as he stood up again. The kick this time came to her left ribs. Sharon couldn't stop the grasp as she felt the crack of one of her ribs. In the midst of her pain she heard the clatter of a plate next to her head._

" _The quicker you learn the rules, the easier this will become." His words were followed by the familiar scratch in her arm._


	4. Chapter 4

**This chapter is all a flashback, it sets the scene for the current events. This will be my last update for about a week as I am heading off to a convention. Thanks again for reading reviewing and updating. You are all incredible.**

 **Chapter 4**

 **8 years earlier**

"Suspect has turned right onto palace street." Andy spoke into the receiver as Provenza turned the car to follow.

"We need to follow on foot Flynn, he's going deeper." Provenza pulled the car onto the kerb and both men left the car quicker than either of them had a right to.

"This is Lieutenant Flynn, Provenza and I have left the vehicle and are following on foot. All teams report your position." Andy waited as the teams came back. That was all but the Captain and Julio. "Captain, please report… Captain?" His voice waivered, partially through worry mixed with his breathlessness.

A single gun shot would sounded from the direction they were running towards. Andy didn't stop he just ran. He ran until the winding streets opened into a paved area that revealed the full scenario. Julio lay on the pavement with a bleeding gash to the side of his head. Flynn turned back to see Provenza walking up behind him. Andy took a step towards Julio conscious not to turn his head.

"Stop" the voice was followed by another gunshot into the air. Andy took a deep breath and turned around. He was faced with a sight that made his stomach drop. The suspect was stood on the other side of the pavement, his arm wrapped around Sharon's throat. His gun held tight against her temple. She had a gash almost identical to that of Julio's on her head.

"You don't want to do this." Andy's voice was calm. This was the scenario they all trained for but hoped they would never encounter.

"You're not following the rules Lieutenant. None of you are following the rules!" Sharon could feel the gun shaking against her temple as his arm shook with anger. Looking towards Andy she felt a sense of relief.

"Is that what Julio did? Did he break the rules?" This time it was Provenza that spoke. He could see Andy starting to struggle, and no wonder. Situations like this were the ones no police officer ever wanted to face.

"I told him to stop. He didn't listen. He should have listened." His grip on Sharon released slightly and all four of them saw it.

"Is that what happened with those girls? Didn't they listen to you?" Andy had seen an opening and he saw Sharon looking towards him. She had seen it to. They only had once chance to get this right.

The suspect laughed. "They didn't want to play… The end…" As he paused the team sprung into action. Sharon kicked his kneecap back and in a flash had pulled the gun from his hand.

As Andy saw the gun fly across the pavement and Sharon ducked he took aim knowing that he only had one shot.

As Sharon ducked she heard the shot sound around her and felt the rush of air as the body dropped behind her. Turning around she saw him start to try and move while clutching his arm. Before she had a chance to move the two lieutenants had moved past her and handcuffed the suspect.

Sharon didn't notice as the support teams came in around them. She knew nothing but Andy's arms moving around her and holding her as she finally let the tears she had been holding fall down her cheeks.

"Captain I can take the lead on this if you want?" Andy hadn't been expecting to see her back in the department so soon. It had taken a fight to get her to the hospital in the first place, and straight after being given the all clear she had come straight back to the department.

"Andy." She used his first name in the hope that it would help him understand. "I need to do this, but I would appreciate you coming with me."

Andy nodded. "I'm not going anywhere Sharon." He pushed the door to the interview room open and let Sharon walk in first before he followed and closed the door behind them.

Sharon walked into the room and sat down on the chair directly opposite the suspect. She waited for Andy to take up the position to the side of her before she started to speak. "Edward I am Captain Raydor and this is Lieutenant Flynn, I believe that you have been read and understand your rights."

Edward leaned back in his chair as he started to tap his fingers against the table. "So formal Captain, and there was me thinking we had developed something special." He let out a low chuckle.

"Before we continue I must confirm that you have waived your right to council. As such we can continue this conversation without the presence of a lawyer." Sharon kept her voice steady as she spoke, determined not to let him see the fear that lay behind it.

"Oh Captain still so formal, yes I have waived and I am well aware what that means." He waved his hand towards her. "I must say I am a little disappointed. I thought we had an understanding."

"Are you kidding me? You had a gun against her head and you call that an understanding?" Andy couldn't hold it anymore. He always fought to try and see the good in people, to understand the reasoning they might have to commit these crimes. He had to admit that sometimes there was no reason. Glancing towards Sharon he could the look from her telling him to stop.

Sharon knew that whichever member of team she had taken in there would have struggled, but she trusted Andy completely. She knew from the look that she gave him he would stop. He would always follow her lead.

"Now now. We all know what you want. You want to know what happened to the girls." He lent forward this time and rested his head on top of his clasped hands.

"Earlier you said that they hadn't followed the rules. Can you tell us what they were?" Sharon had realised that in order to get any of the answers she craved she would have to play the game that she hated.

"May I use the paper?"

Sharon pushed the pad used for statements towards him. She watched as he quickly scrawled across the pad before pushing it back across the table between them. She looked towards Andy and took a deep breath before starting to read at the same time as him.

 **Always follow the rules.**

 **Don't talk to strangers.**

 **Don't accept drinks from strangers**

 **Don't tell lies.**

 **Don't pretend you weren't asking for it.**

 **Don't scream, no one is ever going to hear you.**

Sharon ready them through twice making sure she was clear on what the boy had written. He couldn't have been older that twenty five yet in his head the death and torture of these women had been completely justified. "What happens when you don't follow the rules Edward?" She knew that they were close, but she wasn't sure that she wanted to hear the answer.

"Surely that is obvious? If they had followed the rules then they wouldn't be in your morgue." Edward started twisting his fingers through each other.

Sharon looked towards Andy. He understood straight away. She wanted his to ask the question. "So if they didn't follow the rules, they you killed them?" Andy knew that they were taking a gamble, they had been dancing around the subject for the whole conversation.

Edward clenched his fingers together. "They didn't follow the rules, and they ended up dead. What do the events that join the two matter?"

Sharon couldn't hold her frustration any longer. "You refused council, you've given us all the rules that you follow. Yet you won't admit to murdering these women? Why is that? Are you finally afraid to face the consequences of your actions?" She was walking a thin line and she knew it, but she was done with playing his games.

"Not afraid. I'll stand up and admit to what I've done, and prove the world that I've done them a service." He smiled. "Just remember this Captain Raydor. One day I will be walking the streets again, and on that day you'd better remember the rules…" He paused. "And what happens when you break them."


	5. Chapter 5

**Back from the convention. Thanks everyone for sticking with this and reviewing it. We are getting to the gritty bit. Bear with me. I'd be interested to see where everyone sees this story going. Thanks again.**

 **Chapter 5**

" _Edward." The name left her lips as she came out of the darkness that had been gripping her. The memories of that time eight years ago came flooding back to her. The combination of drugs and her head injury must have stopped her from finding the memories sooner._

 _Taking a deep breath she recalled the last conversation she had with him. Then her mind darted to the day of verdict and sentencing. They had all told her that she didn't need to go, but she wasn't one for taking advice. So there she had sat. Andy's hand creeping into hers as the guilty verdict was announced. He continued holding hers tight in his own as he cast the final obscene gesture towards her as he was led away. There had been threats before, she had always been able to cast them aside. Maybe this time she should have paid more attention._

 _Breathing deep she cast her mind to her team, if she had been able to work out who her capture was then she had to believe that her team had too. Maybe he had made a mistake, left something behind that would lead them to her. The confusion in her mind took her back to the conversation she had with Rusty… The conversation when she promised him that if he ever went missing, that she would be the one to find him, they had never talked about the possibility of her being the one that went missing. This time she couldn't control the tears or the sobs that started racking through her body._

 _She had always been the strong one, she held people together. Her team, her family. She wasn't sure that she knew how to be the one that needed help._

" _Why so sad Captain?" The voice that had been haunting her was back behind her, and in that moment she realised that she had a decision to make. A decision that could determine the rest of her life._

" _Edward…" She said his name again. This time holding her voice firm. She refused to be scared anymore of this man._

" _Took you long enough, I must say that I was disappointed to think that I had made such little impact on your life." He laughed as she felt the brush of fingers against her face. She felt a breath against her ear. "That means you must have remembered the all of the rules." The voice spoke against her ear, the warmth of the breath sending a chill down her spine._

" _Oh I remember every word." She turned her head so her face was inches away from his. "Trust me Edward, I didn't ask for any of this, and I promise you that I will never scream."_

" _Oh trust me Captain, you will." Within a moment he had moved so there was a knee either side of her stomach. For the first time Sharon started to struggle. Trying to move her hips from side to side with the limited movement she currently had. Desperate to remove his hold from her body, very quickly her struggle was rewarded with the blow across her face stopping all of her moments._

" _Don't do this…" The words left her lips as she could feel the fresh trickle of blood down her face to match the pounding in her head. His hands started to move across her torso, before the blast of cold air met her body as she heard the buttons from her shirt land in various places around the room._

 _The needle entered her arm with unnecessary force. As the blackness descended she heard his voice again. "See you on the other side Captain."_

Rusty lay awake in the same place he had spent the night trying to get him brain to turn off. He had known from the start of the night that his attempts would be futile, he wouldn't be able to sleep until Sharon was home and safe. He had finally plucked up the courage to call Ricky and Emily, with Andy's help. They had explained the full situation and persuaded both of them that there was nothing either of them could do. After a bit of persuasion both of his siblings had agreed not to come down until they got the call to say that she had been found.

As he lay there feeling completely useless he reached across for his phone, as the screen came to life he couldn't help but pause for a moment. The picture in front of him had been taken by Andy just after the adoption had been made official. Sharon had her hand looped around his back and was placing a gentle kiss to his forehead. The smiles very evident on both of their faces. It was one of the first photos that had made Rusty realise that she was his Mom, and that she would do anything for him. Finally dragging himself away from the photo he flicked a few buttons before lifting the device to his ear.

"Hi this is Sharon, leave me a message."

"It's Rusty. I just need you to know… I love you Mom… Please come home… I need you." He hung up before the real sobs started.

"And you're sure that the deeds are in her name?" Rusty was snapped from his thoughts as Andy walked into the room with his phone. "Ok. Don't move anyone yet. We have to get this right." He hung up before walking across to sit next to the kid on the sofa.

"Have they found her? Where is she Andy? Where's my Mom?" Rusty turned towards one of the first men he had ever let himself trust.

"It's only a tip Rusty. A basement apartment owned by the suspects mother. We have a team assembling at the minute. I am heading in to lead one of them. I will call you as soon as I have any news." Andy already knew what sort of response to expect from the kid.

"Not a chance Andy. I not NOT going to sit here waiting for news. I'll walk to the department if I have to. She's my Mom." Rusty hadn't been able to stop the fresh set of tears from falling as he spoke.

"Ok. If I let you come then you have to promise me that you will listen to and follow every instruction that I give you. I mean it Rusty. Whatever I tell you." Andy knew that he shouldn't let him come, but he had also listened to the kid crying through the night, and knew that whatever they were feeling that he was suffering more.

"I promise Andy. I will do whatever you want. I just need to see my Mum." Rusty felt part of the constant knot in his stomach start to release as he grabbed his shoes and phone before following Andy from the apartment.

Andy tightened the final strap on his vest. "Rusty I need you to stay here. Whatever happens, whatever you see or hear you need to stay in the car until I tell you any different."

"Got it." Rusty looked at him. "Stay safe." He spoke the words quietly towards Andy before watching him getting out of the car. Andy paused for a moment.

"I'll get her Rusty. If she's in there I will get her." He closed the door and walked to take charge of his team. "Have we covered each side of the building?"

"Yes sir. Each side is covered. SWAT have the full team covering all exits and the team have been briefed." Sykes runs everything past him.

"Ok. I understand that you all want to help. We just all need to remember that the number one priority is to rescue the hostage. I want no injuries at all." He paused for a moment. "You have all been advised that we want this guy alive." Andy took a deep breath. "My priority is to get our whole team out unharmed.


	6. Chapter 6

**I wasn't planning on posting this for a couple of days, but I got over excited! I really hope that this lives up to expectations. As always feedback is appreciated, I'm not really sure where this is going next, or whether I should wrap it up. I hope you enjoy. Thanks**

 **Chapter 6**

 _As Sharon felt her body start to relax she fought to come back from the darkness holding her. Not matter how hard she tried she couldn't force herself to open her eyes. Something felt different as she gently moved her body. Then the memories hit her. His warm breath making her retch as it hit her cheek and the feelings of his hands on her._

 _Finally forcing her eyes open Sharon released a sob as she saw her clothes folded into a pile next to where she lay. She instantly moved to her cover her body. Wincing as the pain from her multiple injuries shot through her body. For the first time in her captivity Sharon Raydor almost lost her desire to survive. As she thought about everything this man had tried to take away from her she couldn't stop her body from releasing another sob._

 _"Don't be shy Sharon. I thought we were getting to know each other." Sharon failed to stop herself from retching as one hand stroked the side of her cheek before the other started to run lines up and down her bare back._

 _"Get off me." She spat the words at him as she tried to move her body further away from his touch. "You are disgusting. I despise men like you. Does it make you feel powerful touching a woman you have tied up? Knowing that she can't run away from you?" Sharon didn't care anymore. He couldn't take anything else away from her. She heard the blow across her face before she felt the sting. This bite of his palm against her skin was becoming an all too familiar one._

 _"To think I had such high hopes for you. We talked about the rules and I was sure that you understood them." He let out a sigh before dropping so there was a knee on either side of Sharon's body._

 _Forcing herself to open her eyes Sharon's vision was filled with blood. However as she blinked it started to clear. It was then that she was confronted by the metal of a gun barrel directly in her eyeline. "Anyone would think that you were giving up on the game." She knew that she was playing a dangerous game, but she refused to beg for this man._

 _"Whats the use in playing a game when no one reads the rules?" The click of the barrel vibrated against her skin before she felt him life the gun away. Sharon couldn't recant all of the events that happened next. There were bright lights in her eyes and lot of shouting. The gun shots rang around her ears, followed by the rush of air as a body hit the floor next to her._

 _With the sudden realisation that she was being rescued Sharon remembered her current state of undress and moved to cover her body. "Back away." She heard Andy's voice shouting from somewhere around her. She couldn't stop herself from shaking as she heard the footsteps approaching. The familiar rush of air as he knelt down produced a painful retch from her empty stomach._

 _Andy wanted to cry. He had been through so many scenarios in his mind. Yet being confronted with the reality of the situation was still incredibly painful. So many parts of her body were swollen and covered with angry red welts. The majority of her face was an angry shade of purple. Taking another breath Andy didn't even want to contemplate why she was lying there naked._

 _After making sure that he had cleared everyone away that wasn't essential he took the blanket that Provenza handed his and draped it across Sharon. He had no doubt that FID would berate his for disturbing evidence, but he didn't care. Quickly checking the restraints on her wrists and ankles he signalled to Tao for the bolt cutters sitting on the side of the room._

 _Sharon felt him gently moving her limbs so he could release her from the metal restraints. She heard the gasp he had meant to be under his breath as he saw the marks that they had left behind. Passing the metal pieces to Tao along with the bolt cutters Andy moved himself fully down onto his knees. "I'm going to lift you now Sharon, is that ok?" With the words he gently used a finger to tuck a stray piece of hair back behind her ear._

 _Sharon turned her head slightly. So even if he couldn't hear her answer he would be able to see the movement of her mouth. "Yes." She felt his arms slip underneath her body and gently lift her from the spot she had been stuck in for the past days. She felt him gently moving his arms to make sure that she was covered everywhere. She turned her face into his chest. She knew that she would have to face these people at some point, it just didn't have to be quite yet._

 _Sharon heard the distant chatter of voices in front of her, even from her place resting against Andy's chest she knew that the light was coming closer to them. She could tell the moment that they walked outside, but the distant chatter she had been able to hear suddenly disappeared. There was complete silence. She didn't want to contemplate how people were there, how many of them could see her in her current state. "Stop…" Sharon choked slightly. She couldn't do this. She was Captain Raydor. It was her job to catch the criminals. How was she meant to be a victim?_

 _"It's not far Sharon." Andy did stop he couldn't bring himself not to follow everything that she asked. Looking around he wanted to make them all go away, but he knew that there wasn't anything he could do._

 _"I can't do this…" She could feel the tears falling again. "What was she going to do? Was there anything else this man could take away from her? "Take me home Andy… I can't go to hospital. Please." She slowly turned her head up to look at him. Pleading once again._

 _"Sharon. You know that I would do anything for you." With those words he started moving once more towards the ambulance, she would hate him, possibly for a while._

 _"MOM" Sharon heard the cry from somewhere behind them. She felt Andy turn slightly and gently sigh._

 _"Rusty…" Sharon felt them moving away from the voice and Andy's pace increase. In what felt like no time Andy was gently releasing her onto a mattress beneath her._

 _"Come on kid." Andy held his hand out and helped Rusty into the back of the ambulance. "It's ok, she's ok." He placed a gentle hand on the kids shoulder. Neither of them saying exactly what they meant, but the simple touch said enough._

 _Kneeling down next to where Sharon lay Rusty stroked a hand across the side of her face. "Hey Mom…" He was trying not to cry, but he wasn't sure how long he could hold on to them for._

 _Sharon opened her eyes and looked into the tear rimmed eyes of her son looking back at her. "I'm sorry sweetheart." She could only imagine the pain her son had been through in the past days. She wanted to concentrate on him. With her last piece of strength she reached out to take Rusty's hand before the paramedics pushed the doors closed with the three of them inside._


	7. Chapter 7

**I knew that this chapter was going to be hard to write. I hadn't expected it to break me quite as much as it did. I will put a warning out there for references to sexual assault. This chapter explores the aftermath of Sharon's capture. Thanks to everyone who is sticking with this, and to my friends for reading it and encouraging me to keep going.**

 **Chapter 7**

The pounding in her head started to make her eye twitch. Gently moving she could feel the soft bed sheets beneath her and the freeness between her arms. Suddenly her mind took her back to the trauma of the past days and her eyes snapped open as she forced herself to take a breath. A sudden panic ran through her as she went to lift her right arm and found it stuck to the bed. Gently lifting her head she saw the reason for her immobility. The top of Rusty's blonde head was a very welcome site. His own arms wrapped around hers, the gentle rise and fall of his chest confirming that he had fallen asleep on leant over the bed next to her.

Sharon guessed from her lack of memories that she must have lost consciousness just after being placed into the ambulance; the soft light showed her the gentle outlines of her hospital room. Moving her head slightly Sharon winced, she had no doubt that she was being pumped full of painkillers. Feeling gently with her fingers she used the little space that she had to stroked the side of Rusty's face. Feeling him gently stir she looked down towards him as he lifted his head, moving both of his hands to take a hold on hers. "Hey." Her voice was croaky as she had suspected, but she was happy with the fact that she managed to keep it firm.

Rusty went to speak but could only manage a choked sob as he opened his mouth. He couldn't stop the tears from flowing down his cheeks. Instead he gently let go of her hands and stood up.

Sharon went to protest until she saw him moved up the bed towards her. Pushing herself up slightly she moved across on the bed and patted the space she had left. Carefully Rusty placed himself onto the bed before curling himself against her bruised body. She winced slightly as she discovered yet another bruise on her body.

"Sorry…" Rusty spoke the work quietly. He didn't want to let go of her though. He wasn't sure that he could ever face not being in the same room as her ever again.

"No this is nice." Sharon moved her hand so she could stroke her hand through his hand before gently kissing the top of his head. "I never meant to leave you." Her voice was quieter than usual, and she knew that there was a lot more that needed to be said, but they needed to take small steps.

"Are you kidding me? I know that." Rusty paused for a moment he had finally let himself relax into her body. "I didn't know what to do without you." He paused for a moment. "I once had a psychiatrist tell me. You don't know what you have until it's gone. I never understood what he meant, until you weren't there."

Sharon looked at the boy who had become her son. She wanted to take away every bit of pain she saw behind his eyes, but she didn't know how. She lifted her free hand and wiped the stray hairs away from his eyes. "I never meant to leave you Rusty. I hope you know that."

"God Sharon, of course I do… I know that." He curled again into her side. "I was just worried…" He stopped for a moment once more. "I was worried I wouldn't get to tell you how much I love you." He words broke into deep and rolling sobs.

Sharon held the back on his head and rubbed his back as he cried into her. "I know… and I love you too."

Sharon bent her neck slightly. There was a frustrating pain there she simply couldn't get rid of. The hospital bed was nothing like her own, and she was desperate for a hot shower and a decent mug of tea. Pushing herself up slightly in the bed she watched as the door to her room pushed open. Andy walked in with the doctor taking the lead on her treatment.

"How are you feeling?" Andy wasn't sure what to say, and all of his words seemed meaningless. They hadn't spoken since she had been in the hospital, it hadn't been intentional, but she needed time with her children.

"Sore, but ok." Sharon was quiet, and as her eyes finally met his there was a pause from both of them. Neither knowing what to say.

"Sharon, I am Doctor Warren, I bought the Lieutenant with me as the questions I have to ask may be linked to the case he is running." The woman paused. "However if you start to feel at all uncomfortable then we can ask him to leave."

Sharon listened to the words, she realised exactly what the doctor was talking about, and she wasn't sure that she could face what the answers may be. However there was only so long she could put it off for, as well she knew. "Andy can stay…" She looked towards the man she regarded as her best friend. "As long as you don't mind?"

Instead of answering Andy moved to the side of her bed and gently took a hand in his. "I'll be right here until you need me." He looked at her and for a moment held the gaze of her eyes looking back at him.

"We have treated the majority of your injuries Sharon, and while you will have some discomfort for some time you will heal. However in cases such as this we must investigate the possibilities of other forms of assault."

Sharon nodded and swallowed hard. She had known that these questions were coming, yet she still wasn't prepared to face them.

"I have to ask you whether you were assaulted in another nature when you were held captive." The doctor had made her way onto a chair as she spoke.

Sharon went to speak and then paused. Without thinking she gently squeezed on Andy's hand, she needed the reassurance that he was with her. "I… I don't know…"

"If you want me to get someone for you to talk to Sharon then I can do that for you, it's completely understandable it situations like this." The doctor was quiet as she spoke. No one liked dealing with situations such as this.

"No, I don't need that. I mean I was drugged… I don't know." Sharon couldn't stop the tear from falling down her cheek. She looked towards Andy. "Oh my God… I don't know Andy…"

Andy put both of her hands to cover hers. "I'm here… I promise."

Doctor Warren nodded towards the older woman. "If it's ok with you then I will get someone to gather the test data. To give you some answers." She stood from her chair.

Sharon looked towards her and gently nodded. Part of her didn't want to know, maybe it would be better that way, but she knew deep inside that she couldn't live without knowing what he had done to her.

"Ok. I will send someone down shortly. Let me know if there is anything else you need." The doctor walked from the room and closed the door gently behind her.

"Sharon…" Andy started his sentence before realising that he didn't know what to say to her. He should have been there to protect her, but he had failed her. Now he sat next to the strongest women he knew, and the pain drawn all over her face was breaking his heart.

"It's ok. I'm alive…" She let out a small smile in his direction. Both of them knew that she was forcing it for his sake.

"But it's not. I should have been there. When I think about what that monster did to you I could…" He was stopped by a single one of Sharon's fingers against his lips.

"You can't save everyone." She moved her finger. "I wouldn't have wanted anyone else to find me. I was so scared…" She finally released the words that she had been holding for so long. It felt as though the pain in her stomach was finally starting to pass.

"Have you told anyone else about what he…" Andy couldn't say it, because if the words left his lips then he had to admit what may have happened.

Sharon shook her head. "I can't face up to it myself yet." She stopped. "I don't want you here when they're doing the tests." Sharon had been thinking about it, and that was a line she couldn't cross yet. Not even with Andy.

"Are you sure? I mean I don't want you to think that you have to go through all of this on your own."

"I'm sure." Sharon gently squeezed his hand. The door to the room opened once more as the doctor came inside.

Andy looked at her once more before nodding and quietly leaving the room. He turned back and took one more look back at her before shutting the door behind him.


	8. Chapter 8

**I'm still rather shocked at the response to this! Thank you to everyone who has read, reviewed, followed and favourited. I hope that this lives up to expectations. I have struggled a little bit with getting this written. Thank you.**

 **Chapter 8**

Sharon lay her head back in the hospital bed. The tests had all been completed and the doctor was due back any minute with the results. Lifting her hand she wiped the solitary tear running down her cheek. She couldn't decide what difference it would make knowing. Whatever the outcome was of the tests she knew that she had a long battle ahead of her. She couldn't close her eyes without seeing his face staring down at her. Every piece of disturbed sleep ended with her screaming as the needle entered her arm.

What difference would it make to her now knowing the full extent of what he had done to her, would it instead make it worse? During the tests the doctor had kept telling her about all the help there was available to her, did they not understand? She was Captain Sharon Raydor, it was she that helped other people. She helped the victims, she advised them of how to move forward with their lives. How the tables had suddenly turned.

As Sharon lay there questioning what came next the door opened and the doctor walked back in carrying what she presumed were the test results. "Do you want me to bring anyone in for you?"

The doctor remained gentle as she spoke, it was beginning to make Sharon feel uneasy, everyone around her was walking on eggshells, and soon she knew that she would have had enough. "No. I don't want them to hear any of this." Sharon had thought about it, but this wasn't something she wanted any of her children to be put through. Before anything else she was their mother, and they had been through enough already. Then there was Andy, but he too had been through so much. Of course if she asked then he would be there without any question.

"Ok." The doctor sat at the end of the bed and moved one of the papers to the front. "It should come as some relief that each of the tests came back negative. There are no signs of any form of sexual assault." The doctor held her eyes, making sure that she knew and understood every word that she said.

"Oh…" The word was barely legible as she choked it out. Something within her lifted, yet she didn't find the relief she had sought. "Thank you." The words were quiet, but she had understood.

"I'll give you some time, but remember Sharon what I said. You need some time, and you may need some help to work through all of this. It's ok to remove your mask sometimes." The doctor gently placed a hand on her knee before standing and walking once more towards the door. She could see the pain in the older woman's eyes. She was fighting so hard to hold it together for all of those around her, but the mask was beginning to crumble. "Should I send anyone in?"

"They'll come when they're ready." Sharon wasn't sure that she could face any of the people outside just yet. She still had to work her way through everything that had happened. She nodded towards the woman as she shut the door behind her. Sharon watched the door shut before she pulled her knees into her chest. Her chest heaved as she retched, her empty stomach crying in pain. As her stomach retched again she let the tears fall that had been rimming her eyes. She knew that once they started then there wouldn't be an easy way to make them stop.

"Mom." Rusty had been pacing the corridor outside her room, he knew that she didn't want anyone in there, but he watched the doctor leave and couldn't wait any longer. Ricky and Emily had both had to leave, Sharon had of course insisted that she would be fine, and that they didn't need to take any more time away.

He didn't blame them for going, both of them had been very reluctant, but as Ricky had once told him. "There's no point in fighting against her when she has an idea in her mind." Yet as he waited he knew that it meant she would mean him more than ever. Pushing open the door he wasn't sure what he would find, but this hadn't been one of the first things he had expected. Seeing her curled into herself and rocking as the sobs racked her body. The sight nearly broke him on the spot. Running over he wrapped his arms around her shoulders as he sat next to her on the bed.

Sharon felt the bed move as he sat down next to her. She wanted to fight the tears, to say strong for her boy, but she couldn't. The tears continued to break as she felt his hand running through her hair, before he gently moved her head to rest against his shoulder. "I'm sorry…" Sharon fought to get the words out. She needed him to know.

"Stop apologising." Rusty knew that he wouldn't be able to stop her, but he needed to try. He needed her to understand that this time he was going to be strong for her. "I can't fix this Sharon, but I will be here for you. I promise." He held her close.

Sharon took three deep breaths before pushing herself slightly more upright. She placed a hand either side of Rusty's face. "When did you become so grown up?" Sharon pushed his fringe back from his face before placing a gentle kiss to his forehead.

"Just tell me what to do Sharon, I want to try and help you." He took both of her hands and held them tight in his lap. Thinking about how far they had come from the constant bickering of a few years ago. She sat in front of him her eyes red rimmed and puffy, bruises across her face. It didn't matter though. They had seen each other at their best and worst and finally Rusty had realised that this is what is was all about, this was love.

"Oh Rusty there isn't anything to fix this." She paused for a moment. "All I ask is that if it's not too much you will be there to hold my hand when it's tough." Sharon wasn't sure when the scared and angry blonde haired boy she had taken into her home had become the adult sat in front of her, but even through everything else she was incredibly proud.

"Always." The single word seemed enough for everything that he wanted to say. Yet there was something more he needed to ask, and while part of him hated the thought of asking. "What did the tests say Sharon?" He had been watching the doctors come in and out, and he had heard small parts of conversations. So while no one had actually told him what was happening, Rusty had worked it out.

Sharon pursed her lips slightly. This wasn't a conversation that she wanted to be having, but she owed him the truth and that she knew. "They were all negative Rusty." She forced herself to give him a gentle smile.

Rusty nodded. He was relieved, but he didn't feel any better. "It's probably a good job he was shot…" Rusty stopped before he could finish his sentence.

Sharon smiled slightly. She knew that Rusty wasn't the only one in that hospital to be having the same thought. "They doctor said I should be able to come home tomorrow." She took her hands out of his and moved slightly so they could go back to their original position.

Rusty watched her start to move. "Wait." He checked where the lines were in her hands before moving so he could wrap his arms around her fully in a hug. His arms and hands were gentle, he knew that she was hurting more than she would admit.

Sharon tensed slightly at the first touch before realising what he was doing. She let herself relax into the hug and started running her hands up and down his back. "I'll be ok. Promise." Her words were quiet as she spoke into his ear.

Rusty nodded slightly. "Just remember that it's my turn to look after you." He took another breath before letting her go and moving into her side.

Sharon kissed the top of his head before moving slightly down the bed. She felt her eyes beginning to drop and knew that it wouldn't be long before sleep took her once more. She knew that she wouldn't be able to fight the nightmares, but having her son close to her would help.

"Love you." The words were quiet, but Rusty made sure that she heard. He could feel her body relaxing as she started to fall asleep.

"Love you too. Thank you." The words were the final things to leave her mouth before she fell into a much needed sleep.


	9. Chapter 9

**I wasn't sure where this story was going. A friend told me to go with it and see what happens, so I did and this was the result. I hope that it's ok. I am planning on going for a few more chapters to see what happens and where the story goes. Thanks for reading you lovely lovely people.**

 **Chapter 9**

Rusty let out a sigh. He had been floating in and out of sleep all night, it had taken every part of him not to go and check on her every hour through the night. Yet he hadn't and instead he had spent most of the night worrying about her. Looking across at the clock he sighed. It was just after 6 and he wasn't getting any more sleep now.

Instead he swung his legs out of bed and pushed open the bedroom door. It took him a moment to realise that the lights were on. Turning the corner into the kitchen Rusty took a moment to take in the sight he was faced with. Sharon's back was facing him as she finished what he assumed was breakfast. "You couldn't sleep either then?" He hadn't meant to shock her, and thinking about it maybe he should have coughed? Or made a noise to make sure that she knew he was there? He instantly felt guilty as he saw every muscle in her body tense, and her quickly place her hands against the side. "Oh God Sharon, I didn't mean to…" He moved round and quickly placed a hand on her shoulder.

"No it's me." Sharon moved so she could place both of her arms around him. Before she would have paused for thought before getting too close to him, but everything seemed different now. She wanted to know that he was close.

Rusty pulled back slightly looking down with a frown. "Isn't that a work suit?" Looking back up he realised that she had washed and styled her hair, and there was a definite sweep of make up across her face. "Why are you dressed for work?" He knew the answer before it came, and he couldn't stop the sigh of exasperation that he gave out.

"I need to work Rusty. I can't sit here all day." She looked away slightly. Rusty had been there when the doctor had advised her that she should take at least a week off work. She had insisted that she wasn't officially signed off so she had the option. She had seen Rusty roll his eyes at the time, but it wasn't the same as the pain she saw in his eyes now.

"Please don't…" Rusty wasn't sure that he had the words. He knew that no matter what he said she wouldn't change her mind, but he had to try. "Have you even had any sleep?" He knew from the guilty expression on her face that he had called her out.

"It isn't the first time I've gone to work on very little sleep." Sharon was becoming a past master at working through exhaustion, she had seen more mornings at 2am than she would ever care to admit.

"What can I do to make you change your mind? I'll stay home. I can get the work sent over. We can watch films, God we can redecorate the condo if you want." Looking into her green eyes he could see the determination set in them and he knew this wasn't a battle that he was going to win. "You know where I am if you need me." He turned and walked back towards his bedroom to send an email to his lecturer. He would be here when she needed him.

Sharon went to go after him and then stopped herself. She had made a decision and she wasn't going to let this change anything. She was going to work, and she would put her mask firmly on until she walked back through the door to her condo. Turning she grabbed another waffle and her back. She slipped on her pumps and headed towards the door.

Sharon had spent most of her career knowing that people were talking about her as soon as she walked out of the room. She had always been able to push her feelings to the side. To convince herself that they hated her because of her job, and not because of who she was. She had never felt as uncomfortable as during the silence when she walked back into the murder room. She couldn't decide what was worse, the looks of sympathy that they didn't try and hide. Or the fact that half of her team couldn't look her in the face. She very quickly realised that she would spend most of the day hiding in her office.

Sitting in her chair she picked up the nearest file on her desk. She opened it and closed it again quickly before putting it back down on top of the pile. Leaning her head forward slightly she rested her head on top of her hands. She wasn't sure what came first, the shiver down her spine or the sob that left her mouth.

"Oh God Sharon." Andy hadn't knocked, and he was glad that he hadn't. Sharon was one of his best friends along with being his boss, and over the years he had grown to realise that no matter how close she let you become, she would very rarely let anyone see how she was truly feeling. "Why are you here?" He walked over to stand next to her behind the desk. Crouching down he gently placed a hand on her knee.

"It's my job Andy." Sharon straightened herself up and moved her knee from the touch of his hand. Her tone was frustrated, trust Andy to have caught her having a moment. "I wasn't going to sit around the condo watching films when I can be here with my team."

Andy sighed and stood up so he could rest against the edge of her desk. "Do you ever  consider yourself? That maybe you need some time to work through this?" He already felt as though he was fighting a losing battle. He just hoped that she really knew what she was doing.

"I don't need protecting. Need I remind you that within this office I am still your boss, and I would ask you to mind your tone Lieutenant Flynn." Sharon stood up, the increased spinning in her head reminded her of the pain to her head.

"You can shout all you want. I'm not going anywhere." Andy knew that she was hurting, but he was sticking by everything he had told her in the hospital. "You're not fine. Whether you choose to accept that or not is up to you."

Sharon took a deep breath hoping it would stop the spinning in her head. It didn't work. "Just leave it." She turned towards the window in the murder room just as she saw Rusty walk through the main doors. "What is Rusty doing here…?" She span around and glared at Andy.

"If you're not going to listen to me, then at least listen to you son." Andy knew she was going to be angry, but he didn't care. He didn't need her to be happy with him, he needed her to realise that she needed some time.

"Are you kidding?" Sharon lifted a hand to her head. Part in exasperation and part to try and stop the increasing throbbing, her vision was starting to blur, and in a moment the face of her kidnapper flashed in front of her.

"Sharon?" Andy could see her eyes wandering. He took another step towards her.

Sharon felt a familiar tightening in her chest as her breathing quickened. She tried to slow it and quickly realised she couldn't. She was gripped by the familiar feeling as her vision starting closing in. "I can't…" She couldn't get the words out.

"MOM." She heard the final word before everything around her disappeared into an all too familiar darkness.


	10. Chapter 10

**Your reviews are all amazing! I keep writing these chapters and at the end feel like I've come to the end, but then something else comes into my mind, and I am quite simply just enjoying writing this. It makes it all seem worthwhile knowing that people are reading so thank you. This is a bit of an odd one, I'm not sure it adds much to the story. However I guess that the road to recovery is a slow one.**

 **Chapter 10**

For the second time that week Sharon could feel the room spinning around her as she fought to open her eyes. With her eyes still shut she fought she push herself up from the spot she lay on the floor.

"Whoahhhh." Rusty gentle placed an arm on each of her shoulders before moving round behind her to support the weight of her body.

Sharon leant back slightly and turning her head into his neck she finally managed to open her eyes. "Hi." She forced herself to look up and could see Rusty looking back down at her. She could have laughed at the sheer exasperation in his eyes but in was taking all the energy she had to keep her eyes open.

Rusty sighed before placing his mouth close to his ear. "You should have stayed at home." Without thinking he placed a quick kiss against her temple before tucking a stray strand of hair behind her ear.

"Hmm." She knew that he was right, but she had also become very conscious that there was quite an audience around them. Glancing around she could see the variety of looks on her teams faces. The mix of concern and sympathy not dissimilar to the ones she has seen a few days ago. Her gaze paused on Andy. She managed a slight smile in his direction.

Andy wanted to wrap her up in cotton wool and find a way of making her stay in the condo for at least two weeks. He knew that it was impossible she was at the end of the day the Captain, he could also tell from the look in her eyes that she was terrified. Looking around he realised that there was only one thing he could do for her. "Right lets give her some space." Andy started moving around and using his hands to move them all towards the door to her office. As Provenza walked out of the door Andy turned around. "Can I do anything for you?"

Rusty looked from where he was sat behind her. "Can you wait?" He rubbed his hands up and down Sharon's arms. He was sure that she was more secure when she sat, so he gently got up from where he sat behind her and walked over to where Andy stood.

Andy looked towards the kid stood next to him. He had watched him grow so much, and that he was taking charge of looking after her. He knew that there was no doubt that he would do everything he could to make sure she was ok. Yet there was something in her eyes that was worrying him.

"Can you come back to the condo? I'm worried that she won't listen to me." Rusty wrinkled his face. He didn't know whether he was doing the right thing by asking for help, but this was Sharon. He knew that no matter what his best intentions were, that once she had an idea into her head then she would follow it all the way through to the end.

Andy nodded slightly. Rusty asking him seemed to have made it acceptable for him to get involved. Looking at Rusty there seemed to be something pass between them. They both knew that Sharon wouldn't be happy, but he knew that they both wanted the same thing, and she needed time to heal.

Andy held open the door to the condo as Sharon walked through it being supported on her arm by Rusty. He hadn't realised that his hand had been held in hers since the moment she had come round in her office.

Sharon didn't mind, there was something comforting about having him so close to her. They had come a remarkably long way in the past few years. She was thankful for the arm gently holding hers. She could still feel her body shaking inside and her eyes were starting to drop again as the exhaustion was starting to take over again.

"Come on." Andy shut the door and took hold of the opposite arm to Rusty to start gently guiding Sharon towards her bedroom.

Sharon tripped slightly as was guided towards her bedroom. She forced her feet to start moving, she lent on the men situated to each side of her before letting them lower her down to sit on the side of her bed. She dipped her head slightly as she rested on the side of the bed.

"What can I do?" Rusty was quiet as he spoke. "Please tell me." He could hear his voice cracking slightly as he spoke. He needed to stay strong for her, but it was so hard.

Sharon shook her head slightly. "I'm ok. I just need five minutes." She knew that they were both worried, but she couldn't force herself to think far enough ahead to give a better answer. She lifted her head to glance towards both of them nodding slightly as she watched them both stand up and leave out of the bedroom door. Sharon bought her legs round onto the bed and pulled herself back slightly to lay her head against her pillow.

Rusty sat on the sofa and put his head into his hands. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't stop the sob that left his mouth, or the tears that followed. He felt Andy's arm come around him, but he didn't try and pull away. "I don't know what to do."

Andy gently moved his hand on Rusty's arm. He didn't want to push too hard, but he wanted him to know that he was there. "There isn't a right or wrong answer Rusty. Your Mom… she's going to need some time. You're doing great."

"It doesn't feel like it. I couldn't stop her from going to work, I wasn't there when she needed me." He paused for a moment. The final statement on the tip of his tongue, he took another deep breath before forcing it out. "I couldn't stop her from being taken Andy… I couldn't stop it." Rusty felt the tears rolling down his face, he knew that they weren't going to stop anytime soon.

Andy nodded. "Rusty, none of that is your fault, you couldn't have stopped any of this." This time it was Andy that paused. "We can't always protect the people we love, and sometimes we hurt them without meaning to." Andy watched as Rusty turned to face him. Tears trails streaking down his cheeks, the had both been completely honest and it was all for the woman they cared about.

"Thanks for coming back here." He knew that he wouldn't have been able to get her back up to the condo on his own, and he had appreciated having some time to talk to the older man. "We'll be ok now, but thank you Andy."

Andy knew that he was right, it wasn't going to make it any easier. He stood up from the couch. "I'll phone you in the morning, but if there is ANYTHING you need from me tonight then you have my number."

"Got it." Rusty nodded, he stood up and walked with Andy towards the door. "I know we both appreciate everything you have done Andy. Thank you." He watched Andy leave and gently closed the door behind him. He walked back towards Sharon's room, he went to knock but then changed his mind and gently pushed the door open.

She was lying on the bed, curled to the side. She was still dressed and her shoes were still on her feet. He could hear her gentle sobs and it was like someone punching him in the gut. Rusty gently stepped out of his shoes before walking over to her bed. Sitting next to where her feet were he slipped the pumps from her feet before placing the on the floor.

"Thank you." Her voice was quiet as she spoke. Moving slightly on the bed she pulled herself up slightly before lifting her arm slightly hoping that he would understand her question.

Rusty didn't need to be asked twice. He moved onto the bed next to his Mum. Moving gently he moved himself to hug the side of her. She lowered her arm around his and started running her fingers up and down his arm. "Please will you take some time off now?" He knew that it was the wrong time to ask, but he needed her to understand how many people cared about her, how many people needed her to get better.

"I should have listened to you this morning." He gently kissed the top of his head. "Yes Rusty I am going to take some time off. We can watch movies, eat junk food and get thoroughly bored of each others company." She giggled slightly.

"Sounds perfect." Rusty knew that it wasn't quite that simple. This was going to take time to get through.


	11. Chapter 11

**New chapter, this one was harder to write. It is done though. I feel like there are a couple of ways this story could go, and I'm not 100% which way it is going. Thanks for sticking with me.**

 **Chapter 11**

Rusty woke for what felt like the twentieth time that night, he glanced at the clock. He had only been asleep for thirty minutes. Sighing he lay there listening, then he lifted his head slightly as he heard someone that filled himself with dread. It started as a mumble, but then there was a louder noise coming from his Mum's room. He jumped out of bed as he heard a scream come from the room next to his.

He didn't even think as he ran from his room and burst through the door to hers. As he stopped his whole body started to shake, there was no one else in her room. Instead he watched her toss in the bed and let out another scream as she hit out at an invisible being in front of her face. Rusty put his hand to his face, he hadn't realised that he was crying until he felt the tears against his hand. Moving around to the side of the bed he took a moment before sitting next to her on the bed. "Mom?"

He saw her hands flying out again, he decided in that moment to take hold of them. He didn't want her to hurt herself. "Mom." This time his voice sounded more desperate and he gently moved both of her hands to be held into one of his before using the other hand to start running his fingers down the side of her face. It generated a whimper from her.

"Help me." The words were gentle but they broke Rusty's heart. Leaning down he placed a gentle kiss on her forehead.

"Wake up Mom." He felt another tear spill down his cheek and run onto hers. Blinking his eyes he suddenly saw her eyelids twitch. They twitched again before opening slightly.

"Rusty?" She went to lift herself before realising that he was holding her hands. She watched as he let them go and gently lifted a hand to wipe the tears from the side of his face. "What's going on?"

Rusty moved around slightly so his legs were resting next to hers. "You were having a nightmare… I heard you scream… and…" He stopped. He could feel his heart still pounding in his check and without thinking he wrapped both of his arms around her.

Sharon ran her hands up and down his back holding him close. There was so much comfort in the hug. "I'm ok Rusty. It'll all be ok." They both needed moments like this, the feeling of being close to each other.

"I can't lose you. Not when I've only just found you." It was the single thought that had been going round his mind. He had been desperate to have a family for so long that now he had it, he couldn't bear the thought of losing it.

"You're not going to lose me sweetheart." She couldn't help but wonder whether he would ever realise just how proud she was of him. Or that he had changed her life in so many ways.

"I nearly did though… and I couldn't do anything to stop it." Moving slightly Rusty shifted so her was lying against her side with her arm wrapped around his shoulder. She gently shifted them both down the bed.

"Would it make you feel better if we moved?" Sharon had been playing with the idea for the past few days. She thought that she might eventually feel happy in the condo, but if Rusty wasn't happy then she would move within an instant.

"This isn't all about me Sharon, this is your home."

"Our home." Her tone was a bit firmer. Occasionally she felt the need to reassure him. She had tried being soft, but he simply brushed it off. Instead she needed to be firm, and it worked he would listen.

"You know what I mean." Rusty laughed slightly, they went round in the same cycle.

"Hmm." Sharon made the sound everyone around her knew meant that she was still thinking. "Have a think about it." Rusty moved his arm round her slightly further, and felt his head starting to drop.

Sharon looked down at him. "Night." She could count on one hand the amount of times that he had got into bed with her, but there was something incredibly comforting about it.

Rusty went to move. "Do you want me to go?" He could feel Sharon's arm holding him tighter. While he could try and persuade himself that he was there for her it would be a lie.

"Don't be silly." Sharon moved further down so her head was firmly on her pillow. She could feel her eyes starting to drop, and with her son close to her side she knew that she wouldn't be bothered by another nightmare tonight.

As Sharon's eyes opened she felt warm. Looking down slightly she could see Rusty wrapped tight around her. Smiling she dropped her hand to wipe the hair from his eyes. It was moments like this she wanted to treasure, moments that she had missed from when he had been small. She wanted to make the most of moments when he wasn't watching. Chances he got to love him without him trying to push her back.

Rusty stirred under her touch. She stroked her hand through his hair once more. Smiling down at him as his eyes fluttered open. "You're awake." His words were quiet.

"Only just." She ran a hand up and down his arm. "Thank you for staying with me." Sharon had just realised that she had slept through without another nightmare.

"I would stay every night if it meant that you didn't have to think about it ever again." Rusty started laughing slightly. "Not sure how that works if I get a boyfriend, but we'll go with it." He laughed again before resting his head against her shoulder.

Sharon couldn't help but smile at him. "So, day one of freedom, what do you want to do?"

Rusty moved up the bed slight before turning towards his Mom. "You are aware that you are meant to be resting? Resting means that you pretty much have a choice between sleeping and sitting on the sofa." Rusty had promised Andy that he would call straight away if Sharon even thought about trying to leave the condo.

Sharon rolled her eyes before flopping back against the bed. She look at Rusty before they both cracked up laughing at the current role reversal. "We don't even have groceries." Sharon knew that she had promised everyone to rest, but she couldn't stop her mind from thinking about everything needed to keep her home running.

"Sharon relax." Rusty wanted to laugh at her. "I went and got everything we needed yesterday before I came into the office." Rusty paused for a moment. "I even went to your favourite tea shop and bought your favourites."

Sharon didn't even think before reaching down and kissing the top of his head. "Let me know what I owe you." She knew that he got frustrated with her telling him, but she was so so proud of him.

"Don't be silly, I'm sure you can make it up to me." He laughed before looking up at her again. "Thank you." There wasn't anything specific he was thanking her for, he just needed her to know.

Sharon didn't say anything, she just smiled.


	12. Chapter 12

**Sorry for the delay in updating, this is potentially a ridiculous idea. If you think so then please do not hesitate to let me know, however I just always have this gut feeling that the other Sharon is always just around the corner. Thanks for reading guys, drop me a line and let me know what you think** **Thanks.**

 **Chapter 12**

"She's still sleeping." Rusty spoke as he opened the door to the older man. He let him walk past before closing the door to the condo behind him.

Andy placed a hand on the young man's shoulder before walking past him, he took off his jacket and placed it on the coat rack before walking across to sit on the sofa. "Come and talk to me for a moment before you go."

Rusty nodded slightly before walk across to sit next to the older man. "Thanks for coming over, I should be out for long." Rusty felt bad for making sure she had what essentially was a babysitter, but he knew that she needed some more time. Whether she wanted to admit it to the world yet or not.

"That's fine, take as much time as you need." Andy wasn't sure what else to called it, he was quite simply impressed with how he had dealt with all of this. However he knew that there was something else going on. "However." Andy paused for a moment. "At some point you will need to talk to Sharon about what it going, she deserves that much."

Rusty looked up. He smirked a little towards him. "Sometimes I forget that I live in a world filled with detectives." Rusty was sure that he had covered every single base.

"You do, but remember that it is a world of police officers who care a great deal about you. One of them is sleeping in her room." Andy nudged against Rusty's shoulder before gesturing with his hand. "I'll be here for as long as you need me to be." Andy of course didn't mind, he had been waiting for a chance to talk to Sharon.

"Got it." Rusty nodded again before standing up from the sofa, he walked away towards the door. When he got there he paused for a moment and turned back slightly. "Don't ever doubt how much I care about her, but I have to do this." He turned away again before opening the door and walking out of the condo.

Andy watched him go. He put his head in his hands and gently rubbed his temples. He had watched his own children grow up, and he made mistakes. He had also learnt that trying to push them in a direction would ultimately always push them straight in the opposite one. As soon as Rusty had started being secretive again him and Provenza has done some digging, it hadn't taken them long to realise that Sharon Beck was out of prison.

Rusty spent longer than he cared to admit looking through the window to the coffee shop. He had been careful to choose a spot that meant she couldn't see him. He had spent so long making a decision about whether he would even meet with her. Yet no matter how hard he tried, and how hard he fought against the feelings he still couldn't walk away. Deep in his heart he knew that she would hurt him, and maybe this time when she did it would give him the strength to walk away. Maybe?

Rusty took a deep breath before pushing open the door to the café and walking across to the table she sat at. He pulled out the chair. "Hi." He wanted to come out with so much more, but he stuttered after the first word.

Sharon Beck reached across the table and wrapped her arms around him before peppering kisses across his forehead. "I've missed you so much baby boy. So so much." She hugged him once more before sitting back down.

Rusty didn't know what to say. He looked across at her. Her eyes had started to clear, he knew from the updates that Sharon got she had been clean for the past nine months, and that she was on a probation programme that involved random drug tests. It was a start. "You said that you wanted to talk about something?" He wasn't silly, he knew that with the persistence of her messages she wanted something from him.

"Let me get you a drink first."

Sharon wrapped the robe hanging on the back of her door around herself. Gently opening the door she made her way through to the living area. Pausing for a moment she checked her eyes before speaking. "Andy?" She watched as her best friend turned round.

"Hi." Andy poured water into the two mugs before turning round to face her. "Rusty just needed to nip out for a bit, and I wanted to see you." Andy finished the drinks before carrying them back over to her sofa.

"Oh right." Sharon sat on the sofa before reaching to take her mug from Andy. She shouldn't have been surprised. Rusty had been home with her for nearly a week, and she had honestly expected him to get cabin fever before now. Yet it was surprising to her that he hadn't come to tell her where he was off to.

"So, how are you doing?" Andy knew that it was likely to be the wrong question and the he wouldn't necessarily get a straight answer.

Sharon looked towards him. There was something about Andy that had always made her feel safe. "I've been better." It was simple words but she knew that it said a lot more to him. She knew that he would straight through her, so there was no point in lying anymore. "Where's Rusty gone Andy?" She couldn't take her mind from it, something in her knew that it wasn't right, whatever was happening.

Andy swallowed. "I'm not sure it's my place to say." Andy cringed at the look thrown his way from the woman who was ultimately his boss.

"Seriously? You're going to pull that one on me?" She knew that she shouldn't be asking, but this was her son.

"Before I tell you, please remember that you are meant to be taking it easy." Andy couldn't figure out how it was he always ended up in the same situation. He wanted to be mad with the kid, but he had to trust that he knew what he was doing.

"I'm still waiting." Sharon felt horrible. She knew that she was using their work positions to get what she wanted. She nearly felt the persona she was holding crack. "Please."

Andy nodded. "Sharon Beck is…" He was interrupted by the sharp buzz of Sharon's phone. The both glanced down to see Rusty's name displayed on the message screen.

Sharon looked towards Andy and then back. She picked up her phone and opened the message. She read the message once and then twice before passing it to Andy. The moment the phone left her hand she left out a choked sob.

Andy took a deep breath before reading. He didn't know what he had been expecting, but this had not been it.

 _ **Captain, how the times have changed. I guess it would**_

 _ **only be fair to say what goes around comes around.**_

 _ **You took my son, so I've taken him back.**_

 _ **I'll be back in contact soon. S.B**_


End file.
